Sunday, August 28, 2005

Golden News - Mountain Lion Got Some Nerve!

Legal Question... Can A Golden Retriever be prosecuted for discussing a scarey news story?

I'm a little scard by the following language: "Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press contributed to this report. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed."

File Photo in the article I'm not supposed to publish, broadcast, rewrite or redistribute, on 7 News, The Denver Channel. Please forgive me?
No harm intended!

Strictly Comet's Commentary:

Oh my... a mountain lion walks in the front door of a house in Summit County, Colorado, steals a sandal, stares down a human in the woods and returns later to jump over a fence and attack a golden retriever... and I'm not supposed to say anything about it???

The golden escaped, along with his family, with only a scratch on his side... thank The Good Lord!

So now I can focus my worries on the report that the golden weighed 55 pounds... providing Mom an excuse to possibly reduce my rations! Yikes!

Friday, August 26, 2005

goldens rule no. 4

Napping is best belly-up under a ceiling fan.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

goldens rule no. 3

Greet all guests with fervent enthusiasm and rapture.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

goldens rule no. 2

Stop eating when you can't find any more food. (The exception, of course, is the discovery of a puff's tissue, preferably used).

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

goldens rule no. 1

Breakfast will be served promptly at 6:00am, Dinner at 6:00pm. (Exceptions only if meals are served earlier).

Golden News: No Kong For Comet

Tucker, of Fort Collins, Colorado was a chewer. He chewed through his 'Kong' and his parents lopped the top part of it off and gave it back to him.

I guess he continued to chew on it and swallowed a big ole chunk... he became very sick, and doctors had to remove it from his intestines.

I've got lots of friends who have Kongs. I'm not much of a hard rubber fan. I fancy softer things like paper, plush toys and stuffed animals. I've always dreamed of having a Kong for the tasty treats I'm sure Mom would plant inside!

Once she gets wind of this story, though... that dream is toast!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

I did a bad thing, thanks to the meter reader

I did a bad thing and I have been in repentant mode all weekend.

I went out to play on Friday afternoon. I chased a squirrel across the yard and onto the fence. He ran to the gate and made his escape into the front yard. I jumped and hit the gate to see if I could catch him.

And imagine my surprise, when the gate opened.

Mom never leaves me unattended for very long, so she found me two houses down the street. But boy-o-boy was she scared then angry then grateful. And she told me all about it as we ran home. At the time, I figured I was in deep trouble, so I found a quiet corner and laid down.

Mom soon called me to her, though. We laid on the bed and she held me really tight. She told me how important I was to her, that my adventure had scared her, that she never wanted me to do that again, and that she really, really, really loves me.

She put a padlock on the gate this weekend. I guess she's doing all she can to make sure I'm not tempted again.

Golden News: Brady Attends College with Shiloh

Brady helps his best friend attend college!

Photo of Shiloh and Brady
By Alyssa Schukar, Daily Nebraskan

You see, Shiloh Hobelman can walk, but lacks the muscle mass and stamina to travel across the campus and attend class, without the assistance of a motorized wheelchair... and his best friend, Brady!

Brady is trained to push open doors, retrieve dropped keys and other times and to offer devoted protection. As a plus, and true to the nature of all of us goldens, Brady is also an awesome icebreaker and a conversation starter!

Shiloh and Brady share a single room together on campus, and Brady is welcome everywhere. Class is his favorite part of the day... beginning with a lot of attention and heavy petting from classmates... and ending with an hour and a half nap!

You gotta read this story of two motivated com-paw-dres!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Personality Types: Golden Retriever

Not entirely...

Golden Retriever:
Good at making friends. Very loyal.
Retriever personalities do not like big changes.
They look for security. Can be very sensitive. Very caring.
Have deep relationships, but usually only a couple of close friends.
Want to be loved by everyone.
Look for appreciation.
Work best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern.

Biblical Example: Abraham
Case Study: Genesis 12-22

Strength: Accommodating, calm, affirming.
Weakness: Indecisive, indifferent,
unable to express emotions, too soft on other people
Limitation: Seeing the need to be more assertive,
holding others accountable.

Author's Note:
Indecisive???? Indifferent????
Unable to express emotions????
Need to be more assertive????

Golden News: Sasha "Trucks" a Mountain Goat

I've tree'd many a squirrel in my day.
But Sasha trucked a mountain goat!

Photo by Scott Root

It seems that Carol Probst returned to her Midway, Utah home to find her golden retriever quite excited about a new hood ornament on the family truck... and no, it wasn't a Dodge Ram.

The Probst family quickly closed the garage and contacted the Division of Wildlife Resources.

Not to worry... wildlife experts were able to administer a tranquilizer dart and loaded him onto a horse trailer. While he slumbered, one year old Billy received an ear tag, a general health check and a reversal drug... and was on his way back up the mountain, home.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Golden News: Golden Runs Mountain Cat up Tree

Browsing through the doggynet on a rainy morning, I found a new hero. Stanley, a golden retriever, who saved his mom from a mountain lion.

Stanley's mom and a friend were out hiking with their "kids" when they walked up on a mountain lion, about 5 feet away.

Stanley, being a brave and protective golden retriever, charged the 150# cat. It retreated to a tree some 30 feet away, allowing the moms and the other dog to run to safety.

About a minute later, Stanley returned to his family and friends unharmed. Stanley... he good!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Golden Humor: Retrieve a Downloaded File

Q: How do I find and retrieve a downloaded file? [signed] Stumped

A: Dear Stumped: The best way to retrieve a file that has been sent to you is to use a Golden Retriever. "Wait!" you may be saying, "Golden Retrievers are hunting dogs!" Before you get too caught up in the finer points of Golden Retriever history, consider ... these dogs were bred to stand by the side of their person, and fetch objects (usually some hapless, formerly live, waterfowl) that the dog's person is unable to obtain for himself. Does this not sound like the perfect sort of a dog for your file problem? I thought so!

The steps for retrieving your file are as follows:

1. Find a Golden Retriever.
2. Show it the e-mail message that has a file attached
3. Explain the workings of the mouse. This may take a little patience, as Goldens tend to wag a lot and the dog may not be totally focused on your instructions on proper mouse usage.
4. Wait until the dog has mastered the use of the mouse.
5. Point to the file you want the dog to retrieve, and in a firm but kind voice say, "Fetch it!"
6. Be sure to praise and reward the dog once he's retrieved the file for you.

Once you've got the file "in hand" (so to speak), bring in the nearest cat to unpack and install it for you.

Wait a minute... we don't need a cat! This joke stinks!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Golden News: Aspen Grace, Lord of the Ring

Here's a funny story about Aspen Grace, Lord of the Ring.

It seems that we goldens... with our quick reactions, instinct to retrieve, and our voracious appetites... wreak havoc sometimes!

I've swallowed a few pen caps in my day... and on separate evenings after long and what I consider fruitful walks, I've had both a G.I. Joe helmet... and machine gun... retrieved from the hidden recesses of my slobbering jaws... but to Mom's knowledge, I contain nothing quite this valuable! (I like to keep her guessing, though!).

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Golden Retriever: What I like to do Outside


Squirrel Hunting:
Squirrels make nests in the pecan tree you see behind me. My favorite times of day are when they get up, when they feed, and when they head to bed.

They have jumped on my head several times before, attempting to jump from the fence to the tree. To my credit, and Mom's dismay, I have stopped two of them, dead in their tracks as they say...

I feel it my personal duty to chase them on the powerlines, across the yard and down the fence, and to wait for them to fall out of the tree. They have barked at me, thrown things at me, and taunted me. They seek rescue from storms in my window sills and on the fence under my deep overhangs. It is not right. It is wrong. And I must make it known.

Lizard Hunting:
Chameleons hide in the shrub in front of me, as well as many other places in the yard. I generally find them by lying completely still and watching for the tiniest of movements. At night, I am fascinated by geckos as they crawl across the soffit of the porch, and along the brick walls. I've caught a couple, but have been severely scolded. It's hard to ignore them, and believe it or not, I just want to play.

Frog Hunting:
To the right of the tree, you can see the frog house that Mom has created. I never see them during the day, but at night... if I wait long enough, I can surprise them on the porch. Mom likes frogs, and she has lots of fake frogs in potted plants. Sometimes I see the real frogs jump into the pots and pose as if they're drinking coffee or reading books. It confuses me, so I let them go to preserve my dignity.

Sometimes, though, I see them hopping along in the landscaped bed. I try to just smell them... but they always jump. It kinda shocks me and kinda scares me, so I've never caught one. I really just enjoy looking for them.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Golden News: The Cheetah and the Golden Retriever

I love Animal Planet (the happy stuff, anyway) and fun stories I chase down through the webernet. Check out this great story I found today!

A Cheetah and a Golden Retriever are buddies at the San Diego Zoo!

Zoo names: Karroo and Sven Olaf
Species: South African cheetah and golden retriever (yes, a domestic dog!)

You've probably heard the expression "fighting like cats and dogs." Well, it doesn't apply to this unusual cat and dog duo! These animal ambassadors are a famous Zoo tradition. They delight our guests when they appear in shows, walk through the Zoo, and attend special events.

How did this all begin?
This is actually our third cheetah and dog pair. Many years ago, one of our show areas received a young cheetah named Arusha. This arrangement hinged on one condition: we had to provide a canine companion. Cheetahs, though predators weighing over 100 pounds (45 kilograms), are shy and wary cats. The dog would act as a buddy and "security blanket." So, the head of the show area visited animal shelters until she found the perfect canine personality, an outgoing young golden retriever named Anna.

Of course, one question always comes up: "Why doesn't the cheetah eat the dog?" The dog was bigger, older, and smarter when the pair first met as youngsters. As they bonded, Arusha never realized that he could be "top dog." The cheetah even ate on a raised platform so Anna wouldn't snatch his dinner!

They lived and played together for many years, and no matter where they went, the cheetah always felt comfortable following the dog as she bounced right into any new situation. Finally, when they died of old age, we decided to continue this dog and cheetah tradition. Chobe and Jessie were the second generation; Karroo and Sven are one of three current cheetah/dog pairs. We even have a wolf/dog pair: Akela and Nala!

Sven and Karroo love taking their handlers for walks around the Zoo!

Sven, shown here as a youngster, acts as a "security blanket" to Karroo, helping her feel more comfortable in strange surroundings.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Golden News (Update 2): Jake beats 428!

I just love a boy who can swim!

Credit under Photo: Chronicle / Shelley Eades

And this is an another story about my hero, Jake!

With a stomach full of scrambled eggs, Jake dog-paddled his way into history, leaving most of the serious - and human - swimmers in his wake.

Organizers of the South End Rowing Club's 10th annual Alcatraz Invitational - a 1.2 mile swim from the infamous prison island to the San Francisco shoreline - say the 65-pound golden retriever is the first canine known to have made the crossing.

The crowd cheered as the 4-year-old pooch made his way onto solid ground, shaking sprays of water and dodging a woman who tried to put a medal around his neck.

"It was colder and rougher than we thought it would be," said Jeff Pokonosky, Jake's owner and swim partner. "Jake amazed me. He was very focused. He started out really fast. I was trying to slow him down. He increased his pace to stay with the pack."

Bill Wygant, president of the South End Rowing Club, said he was more than happy to allow a dog into the race, a first for the more than 100-year-old group.

"This swim is about personal challenge," Wygant said. "Whether you are dog or human, it's whatever you can achieve that counts."

Golden News: Murphy's Law

They say every dog has his day... and Murphy will be spend his in court!

You see... this sweet golden retriever named Murphy has received a summons to appear in court in Newton, Mass., to answer a complaint that he was being walked without a leash and was not up to date on his license.

By law, it was his "daddy" who was responsible for both ends of the leash, as well as paying the registration fee. And it was he who should have received the summons. However, apparently confused by his common human name, the animal control officer sent the complaint to the innocent, victim of his daddy's negligence, Murphy.

Murphy's pop told the Boston Herald that he doesn’t see how Murphy will be able to come up with the $50 fine.

Heck... I would have to hock most every of my toybox on ebay to come up with that kind of cash! I got lots of toys... but a hippo with a punctured lung won't draw much!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Golden News: See Ya Later, Alligator

Cooper, a 5 year old golden retriever takes on a 700 pound alligator!
"I thought he was dead," said 14-year-old Chase Kierspe of the family pet. "The alligator was huge. I didn't think he could fight it. He fights me, but that's all."

Cooper escaped from the backyard for a swim across the canal and apparently attracted the gator. Chase was cutting the grass when he saw the alligator spying his pet. He threw a cup and a lawn chair at the gator, but it didn't budge.

Then Cooper leaped and the gator followed. Chase ran and screamed for help.

After it was all over, Cooper (search) had lost a few teeth and had flesh and muscle torn from a front leg and chunks of skin missing from both haunches. The gator suffered bites to its snout.

"I never heard of a dog getting away from an alligator in the water," said Tom Kierspe, Chase's dad. "You always hear that they grab them, go under and do the 'death roll.' "

The state doesn't keep records of alligator size, but this was "one of the largest if not the largest" the Department of Natural Resources (search) has seen in some time, said Walt Rhodes of the wildlife agency.

The gator's head and hide sit in Kierspe's freezer. He has contacted local museums and parks
about getting it mounted and is considering applying to get it certified as a state record.

As for Cooper, Kierspe said, "we changed his name to 'Lucky.'"

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Words & Phrases I Know

  1. COMET = ME
  5. BOOGER = ME
  6. COMMIE = ME
  8. COME = COME (because I thought she was just practicing saying my name)
  9. NO = NO (unless you're willing to take the consequences)
  10. SIT = SIT (reluctantly sometimes)
  11. STAY = STAY (I'm really good at this)
  12. DROP IT = DROP IT (I've got something Mom either wants, something that belongs to her exclusively or something that is bad for me)
  13. LEAVE IT = LEAVE IT (Mom's really not kidding)
  20. SQUIRREL = SQUIRREL (said inside means toy, said outside means pesky rodent)
  27. BATH = RUN!!!!!! (At all costs, RUN... HIDE...!)
  28. I LOVE YOU = MOM LOVES ME (along with many other things that I must interpret, like it's time to go to sleep or Mom is soothing her guilt for leaving me)
  31. LET'S GO TO BED = MOM IS GOING TO SLEEP IN MY BED (and I must hurry to jockey for the cool side of the bed)

*to be continued*

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Golden News (Update): Jake's Ruff Alcatraz Swim

Jake makes my heart flutter... seriously!

Credit under photo: Chronicle / Shelley Eades.

Do you realize he finished that swim in 41 minutes and 45 seconds? Why... that's quicker than my mid-morning power nap!

And who wouldn't fall in love with a handsome athlete that cares enough to send text messages!

I just love this
more personal account of his athletic paws... or rather, fete, I should say... and I think you will, too!

Reaching the shoreline next to the Hyde Street Pier to chants of "Jake! Jake! Jake!" the 4-year-old canine appeared to take his celebrity in stride. He trotted onto terra firma, evaded a lady trying to put a medal around his neck, and let out a full-body, water-flying shake. He proceeded to roll in the sand and make a quick detour to the nearest grassy area.

His tail was wagging.

The swim was behind him. A tennis ball was in front of him.

Jake made the swim in the frigid waters with his human dad, Jeff Pokonosky. The two live in San Diego and swim 2 miles twice a week. They also bodysurf together, and Jake is known for doing sprints every day -- generally after tennis balls. Before a big swim, Jake eats scrambled eggs. He stands 2-foot-1 and weighs 65 pounds. He
has a weakness for carbohydrates, particularly bread.

"It was colder and rougher than we thought it would be," Pokonosky said after the race. "Jake amazed me. He was very focused. He started out really fast. I was trying to slow him down. He increased his pace to stay with the pack."

Entering Jake in the invitational was motivated by fun -- and business. Pokonosky runs a company called WiggleWireless that delivers text messages and news to cell phones. Subscribers to the service were able to receive live updates on Jake's progress. A portion of the money raised went to Guide Dogs for the Blind.

Updates from Jake -- a kind of dog blog -- ranged from, "I checked into the Hyatt and took a drink from the toilet bowl," to "I'm standing in line for the Alcatraz swim. I don't see any other dogs." Several messages were sent mid-race. One read, "The
water is ruff. I mean ruff-ruff."

Bill Wygant, president of the South End Rowing Club, which was established in 1873 and draws a hearty group that prides itself on swimming without wetsuits, said he was happy to allow a dog into the race. It was a first, he said, but he hopes not the last.

"This swim is about personal challenge," Wygant said. "Whether you are dog or human, it's whatever you can achieve that counts." Lynne Cox, an open-water swimmer who has broken men's and women's records for swimming the English Channel and was the first person to swim between Alaska and the Soviet Union, was on hand to support the event. She said when she met Pokonosky, she asked whether swimming in the race was something Jake truly wanted to do.

"He said Jake would be upset if he saw him swimming and he couldn't swim," Cox said. "I have a yellow Lab at home. Maybe next year the club will have a dogcategory."

By midmorning, as swimmers continued to stream onto the beach in front of the rowing club, Jake began to unwind. He rolled onto his back
, welcoming any and all congratulatory belly rubs.

Golden News: Jake's Alcatraz Swim Record

Thank you to my good pal and reporter in the field, Shy-Knees who sent me this story about Jake, and awesome golden swimmer!

One of the swimmers in this weekend's Alcatraz Invitational swim has dog paddled his way into the record book. Jake, a 65-pound golden retriever, was the only non-human in the 10th annual 1.2-mile swim from the infamous prison island to the San Francisco shore.

The 4-year-old pooch swam across the cold, choppy water in just under 42 minutes, finishing 72nd out of the more than 500 swimmers. Organizers say it was the first known crossing by a dog.

The crowd cheered as Jake made his way onto solid ground, shook himself and dodged a woman who tried to put a medal around his neck.

Jake's owner, Jeff Pokonosky, said the two swim four miles a week and bodysurf together. They live in San Diego.

His training secret? Jake always gets scrambled eggs before a big swim.

Monday, August 01, 2005

One of my favorite games

The weekend was a busy one. I played one of my favorite games with Mom. I call the game "test her pay-shunz". Here's how it goes...

Step 1: I put my nose to the door and she lets me out. I clear the yard of squirrels and come back to place my nose at the door. She lets me in and I proceed to Step 2.

Step 2: I make the circle in the house, get a quick drink of water and proceed to Step 3.

Step 3: Repeat Step 1.

The object of the game is to see how many times Mom will humor me. This weekend I scored 131... not bad, but a far shot from my record.