Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Golden Humor: Retrieve a Downloaded File

Q: How do I find and retrieve a downloaded file? [signed] Stumped

A: Dear Stumped: The best way to retrieve a file that has been sent to you is to use a Golden Retriever. "Wait!" you may be saying, "Golden Retrievers are hunting dogs!" Before you get too caught up in the finer points of Golden Retriever history, consider ... these dogs were bred to stand by the side of their person, and fetch objects (usually some hapless, formerly live, waterfowl) that the dog's person is unable to obtain for himself. Does this not sound like the perfect sort of a dog for your file problem? I thought so!

The steps for retrieving your file are as follows:

1. Find a Golden Retriever.
2. Show it the e-mail message that has a file attached
3. Explain the workings of the mouse. This may take a little patience, as Goldens tend to wag a lot and the dog may not be totally focused on your instructions on proper mouse usage.
4. Wait until the dog has mastered the use of the mouse.
5. Point to the file you want the dog to retrieve, and in a firm but kind voice say, "Fetch it!"
6. Be sure to praise and reward the dog once he's retrieved the file for you.

Once you've got the file "in hand" (so to speak), bring in the nearest cat to unpack and install it for you.

Wait a minute... we don't need a cat! This joke stinks!

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