Sunday, September 25, 2005

goldens hurricane theorem no. 4

If it takes a hurricane to get Mom to spend 7 days at home, then I'm game.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

goldens hurricane theorem no. 3

No matter how much you beg, the back side of a boarded up door is still blocked with plywood.

Friday, September 23, 2005

goldens hurricane theorem no. 2

(aptly named)

To an exaggerated extent, Mom will attempt to squeeze out the p and poo (the 1 and the 2...), before final boarding for an impending hurricane.

goldens hurricane theorem no. 1

There is no better sleep than within the confinds of a boarded up house.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

goldens rule no. 7

When Mom brushes you, roll over on your back. Your belly hair is the only thing she's interested in brushing. If she complains, look at her with your pitiful, but loving eyes.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

goldens postulate no. 1

There is a direct and proportional relationship between the severity of pouting and the length of time Mom is gone from home.

Monday, September 05, 2005

goldens rule no. 6

Relish the luxury of having a full-time personal valet, maid, butler, doorman and concierge, especially on long weekends and Mom's vacation days.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Rado, My Friend, My Sweetheart

Rado
My Friend
My Sweetheart
Rado trotted through the Gates of Heaven last night.
If I know my Rado, he is working the crowd tonight.
He is missing his Daddy, Judy, Grandma and Grandpa
but the half of Heaven
that have had the honor of meeting him,
playing with him and petting him,
are already under his spell.
Rado is sweet and gentle.
And easy going.
He is handsome and happy.
And Rado has a good sense of humor.
Rado is making the most of his new Adventure.
I am sad today.
I spent Thanksgiving 2004 with Rado.
It was love at first sight.
We spent four blissful days together.
He humored my every whim.
We made a sandwich out of Mom.
He liked all the dogs I like.
And he barked ferociously at all the dogs I don't.
He shared his treats and I shared mine.
We ate turkey together on Thanksgiving Day.
He even let Mom photograph him in those moose ears.
I especially loved the way he woofed to remind Mom of dinnertime.
I will miss Rado.
I had hopes that we would spend much more time together.
I know his family did, too.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

goldens rule no. 5

Should the cable go out when you're all alone, notify the authorities (you know... Mom, with the opposable thumbs) immediately upon arrival. Static is NOT good, nor is missing Oprah!