A Golden Retriever's Thoughts On "The Three P's"

Today's Pressing Household Issues:
Peeing, Pooping and Plumbing

According to Mom, one of the "perks" (my word, not hers) to living in an old house... is the opportunity (my word, not hers) to mop up water and shut down the bathrooms, kitchen and washing machine for sixteen or eighteen hours at a time... every 9 months or a year.

And that led me to paws and ponder upon "the three p's":

1. I was taught that the only place I should go... is outside.
2. And today, I'm more thankful than ever!
3. My favorite thing about the indoor toilet is the opportunity to corner Mom and enjoy a good head scratch.
4. The only thing I like about the shower is licking Mom's legs when she comes out of it... otherwise, it's pure evil.
5. Really, am I not fully capable of cleaning the dishes after dinner?
6. It's not so bad that last night's dinner dishes, pots and pans weren't cleaned... I rather admire the aromas.
7. Two of my best friends came over and fixed our problem. I tried to help them, but Mom said if I knew how to fix it, why didn't I fix it last night? I answered the best way I knew how... "woo woo woo".
8. My friends were really cute and gave me good attention. I can't wait to see them again in a few months. But a question... why did Mom pay them to leave???
9. Coming in from the rain, knee deep in mud... and just when I thought we were completely out of towels, Mom whips out four more: three wet to give me a rub-down, and one to dry!
10. ANY P that keeps Mom home is all right by me!