goldens postulate no. 4: a rebuttal to criticism

Having received a firestorm of rebukes, criticisms and skepticism, I must rebut (or repatooty, as the case may be!).

First, let me remind you of that famous quote by Phil Pastoret:

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.

Second, check THIS out!

And if you're still skeptical... this!

goldens postulate no. 4: theory of economic relativity

E = (m x C) squared... x infinity

So... Mom spent $89.26 at PetsMart (or is that PetSmart) yesterday. And after she lugged in the all that food, she presented me with her receipt and muttered something about how I needed to get a job.

Well, that got me to thinking (disregarding taxes, because thank God, Uncle Sam ain't figured out how to tax ME yet!)

• $42.99 for 35 pounds of dry... @ 2 cups per day = 30 days, so $1.43 per day.
• $15.48 for 12 cans of wet... @ 1/2 can per day =24 days, so $0.65 per day.
• $23.99 for 120 tablets of glucosomine... @ 1 per day = 120 days, so $0.20 per day.
• $4.99 for Dingo Outback Bites... @ 2 per day = 21 days, so $0.24 per day.
• $4.49 for Buddy Biscuits... @ 1 per day = 28 days, so $0.16 per day.
• $5.00 (average) for one toy... @ 1 per 10 days, so $0.50 per day.

That adds up to a teeny weeny $3.18 per day.

Now if you add in doctor's bills, dental cleaning and miscellaneous treatments (heartworm and skeeter goop)...

• $700.00 per year... so $1.92 per day.

And that raises the total to a mere $5.10 per day. And applied to the theorem of economic relativity, here's how it plays out:

Entertainment (value) = (money x Comet) squared x infinity

E = ($5.10 x Comet) squared x infinity

E = PRICELESS

Update: Isaac Newton Studies

A note to those who check in regularly:
Isaac Newton Studies are still being conducted.
Stay tuned for further updates!

Activity v. Rest

Every Action has an Equal and Opposite Reaction:

Activity v. Rest

Activity.
Ahem. I am a golden retriever. I am active. It's a fact to which there is no dispute. I believe my extreme level of activity is well documented in these web records. Visitors might sometimes think that I'm HYPERactive, due to my no-holds-barred enthusiasm and welcome-wagon sense of duty, but in reality, I'm just a very busy girl.

Rest.
What can I say? I sleep EVERY BIT AS HARD as I work and play.

If Isaac Newton Had Studied A Golden Retriever, Introduction

Sir Isaac Newton concluded: Every Action has an Equal and Opposite Reaction.

It's been a rather dreary day today, and I've spent my Sunday divided in restless pursuit of restless squirrels balanced with peaceful contemplation of the laws of nature.

We watch quite a bit of news in this house and I've grown accustomed to ratings weeks, expose's and the fact that interest in sigh-ins is important to my generation.

So, this week I'll give you my interpretation of Sir Isaac Newton's theory, as it applies to the typical golden retriever. It's an interesting study, and I hope you will stay tuned.

goldens postulate no. 3

Windy days = Big Eye Boogies

goldens postulate no. 2

Happiness is a king size bed.

goldens postulate no. 1

There is a direct and proportional relationship between the severity of pouting and the length of time Mom is gone from home.