goldens postulate no. 4: a rebuttal to criticism

Having received a firestorm of rebukes, criticisms and skepticism, I must rebut (or repatooty, as the case may be!).

First, let me remind you of that famous quote by Phil Pastoret:

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.

Second, check THIS out!

And if you're still skeptical... this!

goldens postulate no. 4: theory of economic relativity

E = (m x C) squared... x infinity

So... Mom spent $89.26 at PetsMart (or is that PetSmart) yesterday. And after she lugged in the all that food, she presented me with her receipt and muttered something about how I needed to get a job.

Well, that got me to thinking (disregarding taxes, because thank God, Uncle Sam ain't figured out how to tax ME yet!)

• $42.99 for 35 pounds of dry... @ 2 cups per day = 30 days, so $1.43 per day.
• $15.48 for 12 cans of wet... @ 1/2 can per day =24 days, so $0.65 per day.
• $23.99 for 120 tablets of glucosomine... @ 1 per day = 120 days, so $0.20 per day.
• $4.99 for Dingo Outback Bites... @ 2 per day = 21 days, so $0.24 per day.
• $4.49 for Buddy Biscuits... @ 1 per day = 28 days, so $0.16 per day.
• $5.00 (average) for one toy... @ 1 per 10 days, so $0.50 per day.

That adds up to a teeny weeny $3.18 per day.

Now if you add in doctor's bills, dental cleaning and miscellaneous treatments (heartworm and skeeter goop)...

• $700.00 per year... so $1.92 per day.

And that raises the total to a mere $5.10 per day. And applied to the theorem of economic relativity, here's how it plays out:

Entertainment (value) = (money x Comet) squared x infinity

E = ($5.10 x Comet) squared x infinity

E = PRICELESS